


Blue

by Karasalycia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9360113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karasalycia/pseuds/Karasalycia
Summary: Lexa fell in love with her eyes the day they met. Her love for Clarke has only gotten stronger each day, will she ever find the courage to admit it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is bad, but I wrote this for an English Class assignment and decided to post it here. Also this is my first time attempting to write a fic. Some words may sound weird it's just because this was a story which I had to use vocabulary words.

Blue, that is all Lexa Woods has seen since she met her all those years ago. She has taken up her thoughts since the first day they met back in kindergarten. The moment she made eye contact with her impeccable blue eyes. Lexa still remembers the day she came up to her being her gregarious self even at the age of five.  
_19 years earlier_  
“Hi! My name is Clarke, what's your name?” The girl, Clarke, asks her, smiling a smile with the gap of a missing front tooth.  
Lexa was always a reticent child, her family always believed it to be a liability against the young girl. She never had the courage to speak to others. Shyly she opens her mouth to respond to Clarke, but the words get stuck in her throat. One, two, three, you take deep breaths to try and calm down and respond to the girl. She tries again, “M-My name i-is Alexandria,” she feels much more relieved after introducing herself to the blue eyed girl.  
“So Alexanria, do you want to be my friend because I really want to be your friend,” Clarke looks at Lexa with pleading eyes hoping she says yes.  
This girl must be a magician Lexa thought, she keeps making her lose her breath and feel all bubbly inside. She agrees to Clarke's offer, not quite getting her name correct, but Lexa finds it adorable, she asks her to call her Lexa.  
_Present Day_  
Lexa's life has never been the same since she met Clarke and she painted her life with blue. Clarke, Clarke and her beautiful laugh, her beautiful smiles, and her beautiful blue eyes. Eyes she fell in love with the moment they met as young girls. She has filled her life with so many crazy adventures. Clarke has always been way more dissident than Lexa, she has always been more reticent and reserved.  
Lexa really does not know when it happens. In retrospect she figures she always knew the truth, but just brushed it off. She always figured Clarke was just her best friend, she thinks it's normal for friends to be protective and loving towards each other. Maybe she thinks, maybe she has just been denying it because of her parents reprehensible morals against same sex couples. Then one day she remembers thinking about Clarke,about her smile, her eyes, her laugh, and the way her nose scrunches up when she laughs at jokes. Clarke is infallible, everything about her makes Lexa smile. That's when she realized that she is hopelessly in love with her best friend Clarke Griffin.  
Nothing has really changed since the day Lexa realized her feelings, of course she has not told Clarke how she feels. It hurts her, to be in love with her best friend since they were both little girls. It hurts her to realize she's been in love with her even now at the age of twenty four. She will probably never tell Clarke her secret, “I'd rather not ruin what we have over my stupid feelings,” she tells herself every morning as she wakes up. It is the optimum choice for the both of them. There will be no pain or guilt, although the heartache has always been with Lexa, she refuses to accept the pain.  
She has never felt this much heart broken at all. She was never one to be so maudlin, always known to be a stoic and serious person. But she is standing there squelching back her tears as Clarke tells her that her boyfriend Finn has proposed to her. Only a quick tear falls down Lexa's face, quickly she wipes it off hoping Clarke did not notice. She is resilient over the pain and smiles through everything her best friend says to her.  
Leave, that is what she is going to do. Get away from Clarke, get away from the pain as quickly as possible. Lexa thinks to herself that she cannot keep living with the pain. As much as she can handle pain, it all becomes unbearable, of course she is happy for Clarke, but it hurts to see her be with someone who is not herself.  
Raven Reyes, her other best friend is the only one she informs about her decision to estrange herself from Clarke. She is the only one who knows and understand, she hopes.  
“You are completely crazy!” Okay maybe she doesn't quite understand, “The impetuous decisions you are making are going to affect all of us not just you! Lexa you need to let go of your fears and tell Clarke you are in love with her!Stop regressing to the old closed off Lexa and go tell her how you feel! Stop being such a baby and get it together Woods!” Raven shouts at you, she has always been one for tough love. After knowing her longer than you have known Clarke, you learned this.  
Lexa can not do it, telling Clarke is not an option, “Raven, you have no right to tell me what to do! This is my life and if doing this makes me a baby, then I am the biggest baby there is! I am going to relinquish my love for Clarke and leave. It is for the best, I can't keep hurting myself. Being here and seeing her hurts me so much. Ray, I feel like I can't even breath when I'm with her, I need to go, but please don't tell her.” Raven leaves with the most disappointed look on her face.  
She does not leave right away, but she has been circumvent towards Clarke. Avoiding her texts, calls, and emails. Clarke seems to be oblivious to anything being wrong because she has not even tried to visit Lexa.  
_Months later_  
The wedding happens, Lexa is not there, but she sees it, it is all over her social media. Trying to avoid the photos is inane given her friends were at the wedding. Every site she goes on she sees Clarke, looking as beautiful as always. It is all ubiquitous, she decides to shut off her phone and laptop and just call it a night.  
_Four years later_  
Lexa is in the middle of completing her new novel when suddenly there is a knock on the door. It is Clarke standing there in her door way, she is inundated with memories of the two of them through the years. “She looks beautiful,” Lexa thought to herself, the last time she saw her was four years ago.  
Clarke does it she confronts her with her why she left all those years ago. Lexa tells her she owes her no explanations over her life.  
“Lex, come on don't be rude, please tell me. I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything,” she tells Lexa, and she can hear it in her voice the anger and betrayal she feels.  
“Don't call me that! I am not your best friend, we are barely anything Clarke. I left because it was best for myself. I could not keep staying there feelings these feelings for a person who did not feel the same way,” Lexa responds, her voice was cracking as she revealed some of the truth.  
She doesn't believe that is the truth. “Clarke, listen we grew apart. You were dating Finn. You two were about to get married. There was no room for me. He was constantly berating you about our friendship. That instigated a huge drift between us. When you told me you were going to get married to him, I left so I can give you two happiness with no problems,” it is not completely true but she buys it.  
“Lexa for once will you stop thinking about yourself. You did this for yourself, not for me, without taking any consideration for all of us!” She is right and Lexa knows it, but she won't tell Clarke that. Both the girls voices grew vociferous. Things were said that we're not meant to be said which inadvertently leaves Lexa with a slap on the face.  
She tells her to get out of her house and go back to her perfect little euphoric utopia with her perfect family and friends. Lexa instantly regrets everything and waits a few weeks before contacting her.  
After talking things through the girls rekindle their friendship. Clarke is happy with Finn, Lexa finds out they are expecting their first child. Lexa is happy for her, she is, but a part of her wishes that was her. She wishes it was her Clarke was starting a family with. Life had different plans for Lexa, she was not meant to be part of Clarke's life as anything more than a friend.  
_“Clarke, I know it's too late to say this, but I am in love with you. I always have been ever since we were kids. You gave me those ambiguous signs that left me thinking you loved me too, but I was wrong. Clarke I love you and I'm sorry I never told you before. You are the love of my life, my soulmate. I love you._  
_Your's always,_  
 _Lexa Woods”_  
Years pass and Lexa never gave Clarke the letter. She never confessed her love to Clarke. When Clarke moved on she took Lexa's heart with her, there never was a person who filled the hole in your heart. As she laid there on her deathbed Lexa thought about how she was foolishly in love with Clarke Griffin. In another life perhaps they did cross pass as more than friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry! Don't hate me but I really love the concept of unrequited love/ one sided love. But deep down I think Clarke really was in love with Lexa but didn't want to admit it to her. It's one of those stories where two people love each other but can't bring themselves to admit it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @karasalycia


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